It seems that part of the fragility and brevity of life requires us to mark passages with time. The recent 60th Anniversary of D-Day, last year's 40th Anniversary of the Kennedy Assassination, everyone's periodic high school and college reunions, etc.
Now it's time for one of mine. It has been nearly ten years since this photo of Mércia and me was taken:
We had been married two weeks at that time after knowing each other for only four months. We were still working through some of the getting to know you phase, compounded by the cultural differences inherent in our relationship.
Fortunately, I was welcomed by her wonderful family when I went to Brazil the first time for the religious wedding a year to the day later (I remember remarking to a friend on our second anniversary, "This is the first June 10th in three years that I'm not getting married!"). By the time this next photo was taken, during a trip we made after her sister's wedding in 1998, I was just another member of her huge family. (By the way, if you want to learn about family values, don't listen to a politician bloviate; marry a latino or latina.)
Time moves inexorably forward, conflicts arise and are resolved, accommodations are made, bonds are strengthened, life transitions take place on both sides. If you're lucky, you get to grow old together. I hope to grow old with you, Mércia.
Thank you for ten wonderful years. Eu te amo! Muitissimo!
I'll leave the last words to Robert Browning:
In one year they sent a million fighters forth
South and North,
And they built their gods a brazen pillar high
As the sky,
Yet reserved a thousand chariots in full force--
Gold, of course.
Oh heart! oh blood that freezes, blood that burns!
Earth's returns
For whole centuries of folly, noise and sin!
Shut them in,
With their triumphs and their glories and the rest!
Love is best.
Felicidades a los dos!
And yes, latin family values...In the space of one month I've managed one funeral (a great uncle), a wedding (a cousin), several "soothe the relative" conversations (re: funeral and wedding), one birthday lunch (my sister's father in law)...And the hits keep coming...
Posted by: Emma | June 10, 2004 at 11:04 AM
randy, congratulations and God bless you both, and many, many happy returns of the day.
Posted by: akaky | June 10, 2004 at 12:14 PM
Congratulations to both of you! All the best,
Glenn
Posted by: Glenn | June 10, 2004 at 03:33 PM
Congrats! ;-)
Oh, and have you seen any advance notice on this film...
http://www.chavezthefilm.com/html/home.htm
Posted by: jillian | June 10, 2004 at 07:59 PM
Congratualations
And I should add - if you grew up in a staid German Lutheran family and want to experience a real culture shock - marry a Brasileira.
My wife (also from Belo Horizonte) and I have been married 27 years and I wonder where the heck the time went...
By the way, I enjoy your blog although I may not agree with the opinions expressed therein. Keep it up...
Posted by: Harold | June 11, 2004 at 08:02 AM
Note to self: Must do a better job of proof-reading..Congratulations!
Posted by: Harold | June 11, 2004 at 08:28 AM
Congrats. --Roxanne
Posted by: roxanne | June 11, 2004 at 09:32 AM
Congratulations to both of you.
Posted by: natasha | June 11, 2004 at 03:22 PM
Congratulations, Randy and Mércia.
Posted by: Michael J. Totten | June 11, 2004 at 03:28 PM
May the tides always warm you both.
Posted by: Kevin Hayden | June 11, 2004 at 04:33 PM
Congratulations Jack! Ten years!
Posted by: Joel | June 11, 2004 at 06:40 PM
Congratulations Randy! Ten years!
Posted by: Joel | June 11, 2004 at 06:41 PM
Sorry about the mixup. I'd just gotten done reading Jack Balkin before I skipped over to this blog. It's a marvellous achievement and I hope you live to see many many more.
Posted by: Joel | June 11, 2004 at 06:42 PM
10 years is a good start... keep it up, you'll get there eventually!
And for the rest of you: I'm his little brother and I've been married a bit more than 20 years, so I'm allowed to be obnoxious about this subject.
For the record: Mercia is a wonderful person, what she sees in him the rest of the family may never know! ;-)
Posted by: JDB | June 11, 2004 at 07:30 PM
Parabem Mercia e Randy!
Posted by: Will | June 11, 2004 at 10:00 PM
Thanks to all of you for the kind words.
JDB,
Let's just say that Mércia has exquisite taste. Of course in Portuguese, exquisito means weird . . .
Posted by: Randy Paul | June 12, 2004 at 11:58 AM
Oi, Mércia, adorei este e-mail, onde vc conta um pequeno histórico de sua vida e de seu esposo. Muito obrigada pelo privilégio de ter recebido de vc,um momento de tanta felicidade de vcs dois. Um beijo e que Deus os conserve sempre juntos e super felizes. Vani.
Posted by: Maria Vani Batista amaral | June 13, 2004 at 12:59 PM
Oi, Mércia, adorei este e-mail, onde vc conta um pequeno histórico de sua vida e de seu esposo. Muito obrigada pelo privilégio de ter recebido de vc,um momento de tanta felicidade de vcs dois. Um beijo e que Deus os conserve sempre juntos e super felizes. Vani.
Posted by: Maria Vani Batista amaral | June 13, 2004 at 01:00 PM
Parabens, Randy e Mércia!
Posted by: stephen | June 13, 2004 at 07:41 PM
Hey Randy, congratulations!
I had a similar experience. I married an Argentinian shortly after meeting her (though waited a bit longer than you) and the married her again a year later (to the day, same as you) in a religious ceremony in Buenos Aires.
Posted by: javier gonzalez | June 16, 2004 at 05:52 PM
Congratulations to both of you! ParabŽns, Herzlichen GlŸckwunsch! We are in the same boat. In four months it will be our turn... Our Tenth Anniversary!
We are very happy for you guys!
God bless you.
Luiza & Karl.
Posted by: Luiza & Karl | June 17, 2004 at 09:52 PM